Journey
by WorshipperWarrior
Summary: A part of my journey with Christ told in poems. From darkness to light, from anger to love...
1. From the Darkness

From the darkness

Darkness

Fear

Tremblings

Struggles

Chains that bind

Bars that imprison

Fleeting shadows

Echoing laughter

Mocking the broken hearts

Flickering flame

Struggling to survive

The Light seems so far away

And the darkness seems so strong

Straining against the vines that bind me

Their thorns cutting deep into my flesh

I fight against their poison

That seeps into my veins

Drugging me to sleep

Crying out in desperation

I know You hear my call

Straining to hear Your answer

My heart cries out for You

Parched, dry

I'm fading in the night

But I see a flicker in the corner of my eye

A voice is carried on the wind

"Rise up My daughter

You are alive

You are Mine

I gave you My strength

Pull out the fire inside

It is stronger than the dark

Rise up, I am with you

Break free"

Trusting Your words

I dig deep to my core

There I find a fire

Pulsating to Your rhythm

As I push further into Your fire

It spreads into my bloodstream

Setting me ablaze

The poison is burning away

The vines break like dried grass

A Light breaks through the darkness

Reaching out to me

Chains fall away

Evil is silenced

Darkness flees

Light has triumphed

I am free

Running to You

I throw myself in Your arms

As You quench my thirst

And soothe my wounds in my soul

Rescuer, Restorer

Life and Light

In my world of darkness


	2. Healer of my Heart

Healer of my heart

Pain in my heart  
Shame in my spirit  
Guilt in my soul  
Dirty, stained, tainted  
I hang my head in shame  
And crawl on hands and knees

Yet You see me amongst the shadows  
You look past my shame  
You see my sin, and call me to You  
I know my sin, I know my shame  
And I know the price to be paid  
Yet You call me to You  
And You surround me with Your love

Gently, You pull me into Your embrace  
Lovingly, You get through my defenses  
And You touch my heart  
Gently, You ask for my permission  
Lovingly, You asses the damage  
And slowly heal my wounded heart

Your love cannot be understood  
For it surpasses all understanding  
No one could compare to You  
No one could replace You  
Healer of my heart  
Savior of my soul  
Lover of my spirit.


	3. Desperate

Desperate

Hungry and lost

Slowly drowning in my slumber

Crying out

Knowing You hear me

Craving Your presence

More than the air I breathe

Disgusted with what I've become

Slipping into guilt, despair

Fighting it violently

Never seeming to win

Awake a moment

The next asleep

I need You

I can't do this Lord

But You can

So here I am

Once again

I need You

I love You

I crave You

Powerful, majestic

No God is like You

You fill the void inside

Your call echoes in my soul

So I cry out

Here I am

Weak, broken, dirty

But I want to be used

Transformed, purified

Only You can look past my faults

And see the core of me

On any other scales

I would have been found wanting

But You look at me and say

"Yes, I can use her"

Only You Lord

You're the only One

Who doesn't turn me away

No matter what.


	4. Sacrifice

Sacrifice

Praises flowing from my heart

Each step resounding with reverence

Whispers of wonder

Holiness surrounds

Step by measured step

I make my way forward

Forward to the altar

Worship pours like perfume

I am soaked in Your glory

The altar stands before me

Beside it You stand waiting

King and High Priest

Kneeling before You

I give You the flowers I carry

Picked from the worship in my heart

You take them and caress my cheek

I am loved

I rise up, and lay on the altar

Submitting fully to You

Fire sparks around me

Consuming all that doesn't please You

My life is forfeit to Your Will

I give myself up willingly

This is worship

This is sacrifice

* * *

**A/N: **A quick thanks to those who have reviewed. I like knowing your reactions to what you read. I'll try to answer them as much as I can at the end of the next post.

**elecktrum:** yeah, writing stories around some of my poems is a good idea. Unfortunatly, everytime I've tried so far I've hit a brick wall. Tell me to write a poem for a story and I'll give you ten, but tell me to write a story for a poem and I draw blank. Lol. I guess that's just the way it works.

God Bless You Now And Forever

GBYNA4E


	5. Almost Gone

Almost Gone

Life, love

Strength, hope

My Jesus

Longing to find a way

To express my heart, my soul

Reaching from deep within

To pour out my inner being

Here at Your feet

Memories that were fading

A friendship almost forgotten

Grabbing hold once again

Of what was about to be lost

Running to the Secret Place

Where there is no mask, no pretense.

Finding traces of our passage

Along the well-known way

Traces of moments fading away

How could this have happened?

When did the Memory fade?

Remembering all of those things,

I race to where my heart calls me

Seeing light in the distance,

I press on, running with all my might

Sensing your presence as I draw near.

You were always there, always waiting

Never despairing, always patient.

Your heard me coming, Your heart recognized me

With joy, You step forward

With arms open wide


	6. Awaken

Awaken

Awake my soul!

Awaken my spirit!

Hear the call

Hear as your love calls to you!

Heed His voice,

Heed His claim on your heart.

He calls to you in the dead of the night,

He awaits you in the darkness before dawn.

He echoes His call in your heart,

All through the day:

"Slip away My love

Slip away and come to Me

Come and meet with Me, My beloved

Come away with Me

I long to show you My love

Come, My daughter

Come away with Me."

Hear and heed the voice inside

Answer the call

Follow your heart's desire

Run to the One your heart longs for

Answer the call.


	7. Agony

Agony

Pain, anger, bitterness

Cloud my heart so full of joy a moment age

I can barely understand the change

And my heart cries out in agony

Does it not matter?

Never before have I felt so invisible

I feel so insignificant

Even as I hear You say I'm not

I know that You, and what You think of me

Is what's most important

A cry leaves my lips

"Help me! I can't take it anymore!"

Lord help.

Now my heart is lain bare

I hide nothing

Lord You are my Abba

I trust You, I need You

You haven't betrayed me

You've always been there

And I turn to You now

With a desperate and broken heart

Come rescue me from this blackness

I'm done playing pretend

I need You, I need Your life

Bring light back into my life

Only You can, only You will do

You're the only anchor

I cling to You for life

Bring me out of the darkness

Into Your light of life.

* * *

**A/N **Just a quick note to respond to reviews. I did promis after all. :)

**Heather94: **I'm very glad that my poems are helping you in your relationship with God. The hope that they would help people in that way was one of the main reasons I decided to post them. May you grow ever closer to Him and may your love for His presence never fade. God Bless You Now And Forever.


	8. Bare

Bare

Coming before You

I pour out my heart

Pure and truthful

You see my motives

You know my heart

I cannot hide from You

Nor can I lie to You

You see me, You know me

As I lay before You

I am bare, naked

I hide nothing

My faults, my mistakes

Are in plain view

And yet You love me

And yet You long to be with me

It's impossible to fully understand

Your love is indescribable

I trust You, I love You

Because of Your love for me.


	9. In My Shame

In my Shame

I thought I'd learned my lesson  
I thought I'd found the way  
That I'd broken free from all of that  
That I'd finally changed

But I turned right back around  
And fell right back in the mud  
I turned right back around  
And went right back to where I was

It's always the same  
I always end up back here  
Once again on my knees  
Covered in filth  
It's always the same  
I end up back where I started  
Leaning on Your mercy  
Dependent on Your grace

Every time I fall  
You're there to pick me up  
You watch me fall right back down  
And yet You pick me back up

Now I fall back on my knees  
And tears stream down my face  
I fall back down on my knees  
And lay my life in Your hands

You pick me up when I fail  
You give me another chance  
You give me life again  
Just another chance to do the right thing

Will I fall back down?  
Will I fail once again?  
Will I make it this time?  
Or go back in the mud?

Forgive me Lord for I have sinned  
I've backslidden and shamed Your Name  
I'm unworthy of the love You give so freely  
Shamed by Your grace, astonished by Your love  
How could I have turned my back on this?  
I bow before You now, before Your throne  
Crying out with tears of shame  
You reach out Your hand, and wipe my tears away  
You hold me close to You, and wipe away my shame  
You take away my shame.

* * *

**A/N : **Thanks to all of you who have reviewed. It helps to know that what I write has an impact, no matter how small. May God bless you all beyond your wildest dreams.

**GoldenLeafInTheBreeze : **I'm glad you like them. And I have heard the song, and it's true that it is similar to the first poem posted in this "collection", for lack of a better word. Casting Crowns has quite a few good songs, some of my favorites being _Who am I_, _Praise You in This Storm_ and _Voice of Truth_ to name a few. I'm glad you enjoy them as well. GBY

* * *

**A/N : Quick re-editing of a couple chapters, had never realized that they weren't being posted in the form I had written them in. Call me picky, but usually there's a reason I write them a certain way. I know it changes the way they're read, if nothing else. Thanks again to all of you who have taken the time to read these. I hope they have touched you and encouraged you. That's what they're here for. On a side note, I would love ot get some feedback on how you understand and see what I try to portray here. Knowing that what I wrote touched someone always makes my day. I live to servethe King and change the world around me. Be blessed, each and every one of you.**


	10. Running after You

Running after You

Tired of waiting  
Tired of sitting and hoping for  
"Things that have been promised"  
I'm hungry, Lord  
Hungry for more  
For so much more  
For more of Your love  
For more of Your power  
For more of Your presence  
For more of You  
So I won't stay silent  
I won't just wait for the day to come  
I'm running after You  
I'm running after Your presence  
I'll chase You to the ends of the earth  
If it means getting touched by You  
So hear this cry  
Hear the cry of the hungry heart  
Hear the cry of Your child  
Starved for more of You  
Your touch is what I crave  
Your touch is what keeps me alive  
So I won't wait any longer  
I'm going after You  
Won't take no for an answer  
Won't wait for another time  
Won't accept that it'll come "soon"  
Because "soon" isn't soon enough  
And my soul cries out for life  
The life that's found in You  
And in You alone  
This hunger will not be ignored  
It's gnawing away inside of me  
Blowing all other thoughts from my mind  
Nothing else but You will satisfy  
Everything else leaves a foul taste  
And leaves me dissatisfied, unfilled  
Only Your hand  
Only Your touch  
Will do  
I'm running after You.

* * *

**A/N: Sorry it took me so long to update. Thanks again for those who have reviewed. Your support means a lot to me. I pray God will bless you all in a new and unique way each and every day.**


	11. Give Up

Give up

Breaking

Crying out

Screaming

I can't take it anymore

Look!

Look at what I've become!

I'm so lost without You

Strike me down

Break me inside out

Tear me apart

But don't leave me where I am

I can go no further without You

My strength is not enough

I need Yours

Do what You want with me

Don't let me go back to where I am now

I give it up, God

Here

It's all Yours

Don't ever let me take it back

I'm Yours.


	12. Break

Break

Breaking apart

Splitting at the seams

I've never been so at peace

Resting in Your arms

I relax all of my being

And let You take me apart

To remake me anew

Clay in the Potter's hand

Weave under the Weaver's gaze

Sculpture under the Sculptor's chisel

I'm a work in progress

Diamond in the rough

Warrior in training

Untried artist

Wild One being tamed

I submit

You decide who I am

You decide what I will become

Do with me what You will

And so I break

To be remade.

* * *

**A/N: Thanks again to all of you who have added my "story" (if you could call it that) to their favorites. It's a big encouragement and I really appreciate it. For all of you who read these "stories", please leave a review so I can know what you think!! God keep you always in the palm of His mighty and loving hand.  
**


	13. Searching

Searching

Searching left and right

Traveling the world

Never finding what I seek

Never finding the One I long for

Traces of His presence here and there

Breaths of the Kingdom Atmosphere in the air

Moments when He is near

And that I feel His Touch

But it's never enough

Only just what I need to survive

So again I search, again I cry out

Here! Another trace

There! Another touch

Enough to keep me going

Enough to keep me running

But not enough to satisfy

How long will I have to look?

How long must I run after You?

So tired, so empty, so discouraged

Yet Hope will never die

And so I run on

And so I chase on

Just a little longer, just a little further

Knowing that in the end

I will find what my heart longs for

And I will be filled

I will be whole.


	14. Heartcry

Heartcry

Heartcry

Desperation

Longing

Last cry

Ultimatum

Deep rooted hunger

Keening cry

Clinging to a last hope

The end

Only one way out

Eyes lifted up

Heart reaching out

Desperation

There's only One

Only One

Who holds Redemption

Who can Rescue

Who can Save

Hear this heartcry

Rescue this heart from the desert

Bring it back from the brink

Into Life.


	15. Change me

Change me

Longing to be changed

Striving to touch Your glory

Break my life

To make me new

I'm such a mess

I feel so far from You

Dry, empty, cracked

A glimpse here

A touch there

A drop to keep me alive

To keep me searching

So I keep going

Running or crawling

In a straight line

Or by the byways

Because You are Life

Dying from the inside out

To be brought back to life

Through Your undeniable Glory

Hear my cry

Break me apart

I don't want to be the same.


	16. Core of my Essence

Core of my essence

Striped bare

Layer by layer

'Til there's nothing left

It's there that I find You

Where I thought there was nothing

I found the core of my essence

My reason for breathing

It was You

All along, it was You

And it's here

Broken into a million pieces

That I finally heard Your Voice

And found true freedom

For I am nothing

Without You.


	17. Rescued

Rescued

Forced sleep

Drugged slumber

Strong one brought low

Bound in chains

That seem unbreakable

But even in her sleep

She fights tooth and nail

Even in her dreams

She knows something is wrong

Her eyelids twitch

Her muscles tense

As she dreams she calls out

Her enemies forgot one thing

She is a Dreamer

And the dreams are her domain

So her call for help rings out

And echoes through the Realm

News of her capture reaches the Throne

And a wave of rage is felt in the Heavens

Angels rise up and move out

Their leader, their friend

The beloved daughter of their King

Has called for help

And help has been sent

The connection has been made between lovers

The sleeping captive is no longer alone

Sensing the Presence of her lover

The flame in her core awakens

Rising higher with each passing moment

Flowing through her bloodstream

Burning away every trace of drugs

Every drop of poison

Receiving strength through the connection

Her eyes fly open, flames in their depths

Panic overtakes her captors

She cannot be awake!

But there is no denying the Fire

That pulsates in her veins

Visible through her skin

The look in her eye says it all

She knows who she is

She has come into her own

Ears attentive to the slightest noise

She smiles a feral grin

Outside the stronghold, the angels have arrived

Spelling its doom

With strength born of supernatural grace

She breaks away the chains

Standing in the knowledge of her rank

She abandons herself to the fire within

The passion of her Lord

Wildfire unleashed

Fire within and without

Total annihilation

Carried home by the angels

Her eyes now shine with joyful love

Her heart rejoices once more

Her lover and her King is before her

Bowing before Him, she waits

Taken into His arms, only then does she relax

She is safe, she is whole

She is home.

* * *

**A/N : I know there was another chapter after this one before, but I had to take it down as I didn't feel it belonged in this particular collection. Furthermore, I noticed that the poems I have posted here (and consequently the chapters) were far from organized and although each chapter is a poem that could easily stand alone, I had decided to post them as a collection for a reason, and as such I feel they _do_ need to be at least somewhat organized. So I will be reworking through what I have posted and redoing this collection as well as the others I have posted, and hopefully when I'm done it will be at least slightly more coherent. Please bear with me as this will take time, since I do have other priorities at the moment. Also, I will not be posting any new poems until this editing process is through. I felt that you who have been reading this at least deserved a heads up.**

**Thank you to all of you who have read and reviewed my work, and thank you even to those of you who haven't reviewed, because you at least took the time to read. May the Creator ever keep you in the palm of His hand.**

**Worshipper.  
**


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